Seens Jokes in the US :-)

Seens(Srinivas) was my roommate and best friend in Atlanta two years back. He was cool, talkative, dynamic and way too funny. He had this Kannada SRK(Shiv Raj Kumar) hairstyle. The moments spent with him are probably some of the best moments in my life. I have listed some of the funny incidents of Seens in the US below. If you like them will post some more. Hope Seens doesn't mind :-)

Nati Chicken

All of a sudden Seens enrolled for a gym and started working out. I advised him saying “Seens, since you are working out you should eat Nati Chicken. It has more proteins”
Next day he went to Kroger (shopping mall) and asked the shopkeeper

Seens: Do you have Nati Chicken here?
Shopkeeper: Naughty what? Did you say Naughty Chic ? For that you should go to PP dude (PinkPony is a famous strip bar in Atlanta)
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Don’t Abuse Me

One day when we were partying Seens had a major fight with our other roommate. The other roommate got very angry when Seens abused him in Kannada. He wanted to say ‘don’t abuse me’. Instead he said, “Seens, this is too much. I am telling you, don’t seduce me”
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Desh Premi

One day we had been to a strip bar. Seens spotted a desi(Indian) bar dancer there. Seeing a nude Indian aroused the patriotic feeling in him. He went to her and asked her in his broken Hindi,

Seens: Excuse me, aap India mein kahan place ka hai ?
Dancer: “F*** off you jerk”

We all had laughed for days
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Tennis Referee

Once we had organized a tennis tournament. Seens was made a referee for a match when I was playing.
He started giving wrong decisions in favor of me. Even if I hit long he used to give it in. All the spectators started yelling “fixing, fixing”
I got irritated and shouted at Seens

Me: Seens, where the hell did I fix with you? Why can’t you give the correct decisions. I want to win the match fair and square
Seens: I have no affinity towards you. Just that I forgot to wear my glasses today. Baddimagandu kansatte andre ishtu blurr aag kanasbeka !!
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Super Figure

One bad habit Seens had was to pass comments in kannada aloud in front of Americans. He thought they would never understand him. One day while we were passing out of the entrance of the office, a client lady entered in. She looked pretty. When she was crossing us, Seens exclaimed aloud in Kannada “wah, en super figure idaale ivlu”
She immediately turned back and gave a dirty stare. I had vanished in no time
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Raagi Balls

One day I and Seens wanted to eat raagi balls badly. We went to a shopping mall

Seens: Do we get raagi here ?
Shopkeeper: Raagi what’s that?
Seens: It’s something like…. We make balls out of it and eat
Shopkeeper: What? Do you eat balls ? Balls are to be played right ?

In next few minutes the shopkeeper called all his colleagues and showed them the ball eating creatures. We were embarrassed enough
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Titanic Heroine

On the first day of Seens’s working day at Atlanta, he noticed that the person whose desk was next to him was ‘Elizabeth’. She was on leave that day. He asked Ganesan how she looked. Ganesan said she exactly looked like Titanic Heroine. As Seens heard this he jumped with ecstasy. He called me and told about how lucky he was.

Next day when Elizabeth arrived office, Seens saw her and inquired Ganesan
Seens: Dude, is this Titanic Heroine ?
Ganesan: Of course yes. Did you think of Kate Winslett? Come on. I meant the old lady Rose who narrates the story in the movie

Elizabeth was the oldest employee of the company
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What a Party

One day our American neighbor Stan invited us for dinner. I and Seens went to his house with immense greed for food. One tradition in the US is, in a party you have to introduce yourself to the other people in the party. In Stan’s house there were hell lot of old people. It was a nuisance to talk to them.
Some how I introduced myself to them saying I and Stan were tennis partners and bla bla
Meanwhile when it was Seens turn to introduce himself, he forgot Stan’s name. lol
With great confidence, he said to others, “Hi all, I am Seens. Stefan is my very good friend. I was glad to come here when Stefan invited me for the dinner”

“Hey wait” One old guy interrupted. “Who on earth is Stefan here ?”
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--- TO BE CONTINUED.....