Seens(Srinivas) was my roommate and best friend in Atlanta two years back. He was cool, talkative, dynamic and way too funny. He had this Kannada SRK(Shiv Raj Kumar) hairstyle. The moments spent with him are probably some of the best moments in my life. I have listed some of the funny incidents of Seens in the US below. If you like them will post some more. Hope Seens doesn't mind :-)
Nati Chicken
All of a sudden Seens enrolled for a gym and started working out. I advised him saying “Seens, since you are working out you should eat Nati Chicken. It has more proteins”
Next day he went to Kroger (shopping mall) and asked the shopkeeper
Seens: Do you have Nati Chicken here?
Shopkeeper: Naughty what? Did you say Naughty Chic ? For that you should go to PP dude (PinkPony is a famous strip bar in Atlanta)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don’t Abuse Me
One day when we were partying Seens had a major fight with our other roommate. The other roommate got very angry when Seens abused him in Kannada. He wanted to say ‘don’t abuse me’. Instead he said, “Seens, this is too much. I am telling you, don’t seduce me”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Desh Premi
One day we had been to a strip bar. Seens spotted a desi(Indian) bar dancer there. Seeing a nude Indian aroused the patriotic feeling in him. He went to her and asked her in his broken Hindi,
Seens: Excuse me, aap India mein kahan place ka hai ?
Dancer: “F*** off you jerk”
We all had laughed for days
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tennis Referee
Once we had organized a tennis tournament. Seens was made a referee for a match when I was playing.
He started giving wrong decisions in favor of me. Even if I hit long he used to give it in. All the spectators started yelling “fixing, fixing”
I got irritated and shouted at Seens
Me: Seens, where the hell did I fix with you? Why can’t you give the correct decisions. I want to win the match fair and square
Seens: I have no affinity towards you. Just that I forgot to wear my glasses today. Baddimagandu kansatte andre ishtu blurr aag kanasbeka !!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Super Figure
One bad habit Seens had was to pass comments in kannada aloud in front of Americans. He thought they would never understand him. One day while we were passing out of the entrance of the office, a client lady entered in. She looked pretty. When she was crossing us, Seens exclaimed aloud in Kannada “wah, en super figure idaale ivlu”
She immediately turned back and gave a dirty stare. I had vanished in no time
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Raagi Balls
One day I and Seens wanted to eat raagi balls badly. We went to a shopping mall
Seens: Do we get raagi here ?
Shopkeeper: Raagi what’s that?
Seens: It’s something like…. We make balls out of it and eat
Shopkeeper: What? Do you eat balls ? Balls are to be played right ?
In next few minutes the shopkeeper called all his colleagues and showed them the ball eating creatures. We were embarrassed enough
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Titanic Heroine
On the first day of Seens’s working day at Atlanta, he noticed that the person whose desk was next to him was ‘Elizabeth’. She was on leave that day. He asked Ganesan how she looked. Ganesan said she exactly looked like Titanic Heroine. As Seens heard this he jumped with ecstasy. He called me and told about how lucky he was.
Next day when Elizabeth arrived office, Seens saw her and inquired Ganesan
Seens: Dude, is this Titanic Heroine ?
Ganesan: Of course yes. Did you think of Kate Winslett? Come on. I meant the old lady Rose who narrates the story in the movie
Elizabeth was the oldest employee of the company
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What a Party
One day our American neighbor Stan invited us for dinner. I and Seens went to his house with immense greed for food. One tradition in the US is, in a party you have to introduce yourself to the other people in the party. In Stan’s house there were hell lot of old people. It was a nuisance to talk to them.
Some how I introduced myself to them saying I and Stan were tennis partners and bla bla
Meanwhile when it was Seens turn to introduce himself, he forgot Stan’s name. lol
With great confidence, he said to others, “Hi all, I am Seens. Stefan is my very good friend. I was glad to come here when Stefan invited me for the dinner”
“Hey wait” One old guy interrupted. “Who on earth is Stefan here ?”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- TO BE CONTINUED.....
Monday, November 15, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Life After Death !!
Note: I am extremely sorry for not posting a comedy this time. As I was about to, I felt this one deserved more
Come Monday, my body shivers. I become delirious. No, it’s not the office blues. All the sad and bad things those have happened in my life have all fallen on Mondays. Last Monday yet another tragedy struck me. My cousin brother Zulfiqar Ali passed away all of a sudden, thanks to the brain hemorrhage, he was gone in seconds. All called him Bhutto. He was just 37. I grew up with him in the same house as we had a huge united family. But that day I realised that the biggest living truth in the world is nothing but death.
I travelled back home as soon as I got the news. His family, that’s my aunt’s family was devastated. He had left behind two old parents, two sisters, two younger brothers, two small kids and wife. As the body was brought home from the hospital there was pandemonium in the house. All the relatives mourned, wept and cried for such a loss. It was a shock rather. As I entered the house, the body laid down in the hall. One thing I noticed was his daughter Munazza, 4 year old kid who hardly knows the meaning of life and death, was playing near the body(the other kid is one year old son). Let me admit, I can’t converse with adults because I don’t understand them. I can talk to children though. With some sadness, I lifted Munazza in my arms and came out of the house. Unlike my niece Zoya, this lovely kid is very calm and quite. Below was our conversation
Me: What has happened to your Abba?
Munazza: Looks like Abba fell somewhere. He is resting
Me: No Beta, actually he has gone to some other world
Munazza: Which world?
Me: You see there is a wonderful world which we can’t see. He went there in advance so that he can build a palace for you there, also a nice garden and lots of toys to play
Munnazza: Oh Wooow.. (her face brightened up)
Me: But it will take time. You will have to wait to meet him
Munazza: How long?
Me: May be some 60-70 years that’s all
Munazza: I will wait
Me: For that you should go to school. Else Abba will get angry and won’t build anything for you
Munazza: I will go to school
Me: Now you know the secret where your Abba has gone, you should promise me that you won’t trouble your Mom asking where your Abba has gone.
Munazza: I promise, I won’t. I also won’t tell this secret to Umme Haani(her cousin)
Me: Great girl. Now tell me the truth, did you cry?
Munazza: No
Me: Then who all cried?
Munazza: Daadi Ammi cried. Chacha cried. Phuppu cried. Hmmm…(thinking) Ammi didn’t cry. But Nani Ammi cried lots.
Me: You know what, those who cried are all fools. They don’t know the secret where your Abba has gone. You and your Ammi are brave. Brave people never cry
The little kid smiled.
Then after couple of hours I saw her. She shook her head conveying that she wasn’t crying. Later when hordes of relatives, friends poured in and were shedding tears, Munazza winked at me and smirked at others. Fools, she thought. Just before the coffin was supposed to be lifted for the graveyard all the family members were allowed to see the face of the deceased for the last time. My cousin lifted Munazza in his arms, went near the coffin so that she can have a last sight. The kid remained calm. She didn’t shed a single drop of tear. Tears rolled down our eyes. Then she came to me and said “Chacha, Ammi is not brave any more. See there, now she is crying”. With some difficulty I said “But you are very brave Beta”
The next day I again went to the Aunt’s house. As soon as Munazza saw me, she came running and told in a single breath “Chacha, Abba forgot to wear his pant only. It’s still hanging in the room. Hehe. Also, he also forgot to take all his medicines. What if he dies in that world?”
I had no answer.
Come Monday, my body shivers. I become delirious. No, it’s not the office blues. All the sad and bad things those have happened in my life have all fallen on Mondays. Last Monday yet another tragedy struck me. My cousin brother Zulfiqar Ali passed away all of a sudden, thanks to the brain hemorrhage, he was gone in seconds. All called him Bhutto. He was just 37. I grew up with him in the same house as we had a huge united family. But that day I realised that the biggest living truth in the world is nothing but death.
I travelled back home as soon as I got the news. His family, that’s my aunt’s family was devastated. He had left behind two old parents, two sisters, two younger brothers, two small kids and wife. As the body was brought home from the hospital there was pandemonium in the house. All the relatives mourned, wept and cried for such a loss. It was a shock rather. As I entered the house, the body laid down in the hall. One thing I noticed was his daughter Munazza, 4 year old kid who hardly knows the meaning of life and death, was playing near the body(the other kid is one year old son). Let me admit, I can’t converse with adults because I don’t understand them. I can talk to children though. With some sadness, I lifted Munazza in my arms and came out of the house. Unlike my niece Zoya, this lovely kid is very calm and quite. Below was our conversation
Me: What has happened to your Abba?
Munazza: Looks like Abba fell somewhere. He is resting
Me: No Beta, actually he has gone to some other world
Munazza: Which world?
Me: You see there is a wonderful world which we can’t see. He went there in advance so that he can build a palace for you there, also a nice garden and lots of toys to play
Munnazza: Oh Wooow.. (her face brightened up)
Me: But it will take time. You will have to wait to meet him
Munazza: How long?
Me: May be some 60-70 years that’s all
Munazza: I will wait
Me: For that you should go to school. Else Abba will get angry and won’t build anything for you
Munazza: I will go to school
Me: Now you know the secret where your Abba has gone, you should promise me that you won’t trouble your Mom asking where your Abba has gone.
Munazza: I promise, I won’t. I also won’t tell this secret to Umme Haani(her cousin)
Me: Great girl. Now tell me the truth, did you cry?
Munazza: No
Me: Then who all cried?
Munazza: Daadi Ammi cried. Chacha cried. Phuppu cried. Hmmm…(thinking) Ammi didn’t cry. But Nani Ammi cried lots.
Me: You know what, those who cried are all fools. They don’t know the secret where your Abba has gone. You and your Ammi are brave. Brave people never cry
The little kid smiled.
Then after couple of hours I saw her. She shook her head conveying that she wasn’t crying. Later when hordes of relatives, friends poured in and were shedding tears, Munazza winked at me and smirked at others. Fools, she thought. Just before the coffin was supposed to be lifted for the graveyard all the family members were allowed to see the face of the deceased for the last time. My cousin lifted Munazza in his arms, went near the coffin so that she can have a last sight. The kid remained calm. She didn’t shed a single drop of tear. Tears rolled down our eyes. Then she came to me and said “Chacha, Ammi is not brave any more. See there, now she is crying”. With some difficulty I said “But you are very brave Beta”
The next day I again went to the Aunt’s house. As soon as Munazza saw me, she came running and told in a single breath “Chacha, Abba forgot to wear his pant only. It’s still hanging in the room. Hehe. Also, he also forgot to take all his medicines. What if he dies in that world?”
I had no answer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)