Wednesday, October 18, 2017

English Bottle


Last year I was on bench for 4 months and most of that duration I was at my native. I have a huge family, thereby many cousins, most living in my hometown. Most of them work at the chilli market and had a huge 6 month off season. I noticed that during the off season, they mostly did lukkhagiri, roaming aimlessly, bitching about people, chasing girls, picking up fights etc. I decided to indulge them in positive activities.

One day, I told them that I would conduct a quiz. I had to explain them what actually a quiz was. Since most of them were school drop outs, I had to carefully choose the domain of the quiz to interest everyone.

“The quiz will be about our town Byadgi. The questions would be on its history, geography, politics, demography, people’s nicknames, important spots, events etc.”, I wrote in the family what’s app group.

All my cousins plus my brothers were hugely excited to experience this competition first time in their lives. The teams and captains were made and the quiz would be couple weeks later. I announced prizes too for the winning team.

Then, I had the real task at hand; that was, to prepare the quiz questions. I didn’t live in my native since the past 25 years, so I knew little. I spoke to my uncle but to my despair he had a bad memory.

After struggling for a week, I came to know about an old guy who knew almost everything about the town. His name was Mohammad Gous.

Gous was a slum dweller. I had seen him before but had never spoken to him. He was a drunkard living in a hut and must have been in his mid-seventies. His wife had abandoned him and his kids had moved to cities in search of jobs. He was probably the least respected person in the neighborhood.

I took some courage to speak to Gous thinking if he wasn't sober. He had ruffled hair, wore dirty torn clothes and wore no shoes. I went and told him that I needed his help in framing questions for a quiz and requested him to keep our discussions secretive so that questions shouldn’t be leaked. He asked me to come the next day

The news of me meeting Gous reached my Mom. She reprimanded me and said, “Now you are sitting with slum guys huh? Do you have an idea what would people think of you and us?”
I turned a Nelson’s eye to her cribbing.

I went to Gous the next day. He lit his local beedi, took a deep puff and said, “The first bus service in the town was laid in 1960. The bus used to make 2 trips per day to Ranibennur town”
He continued, “The first MLA of the town won with just one vote difference in 1968; The guy whose nickname is ‘bear’ actually got the name because he wrestled with a real bear in the local durgah when I was a teenager; The famous doctor Kendadmath’s real surname is not Kendadmath. His maternal grandfather’s surname was Kendadmath and he was a big doctor back then. This guy used his grandfather’s surname and clinic to ride on his popularity”

Gous went on and on with his stories of the past and present. I felt his brain could give super computer a run for its money in remembering each detail to precision.

Well in time I had got wonderful trivia questions from Gous for the quiz.


The quiz happened and was a blockbuster. There were about 15 participants with 3 teams and the competition was cut throat. I had never seen such fist pumps, adrenaline rushes and crazy participation before. Couple of guys cheated as well. They were caught and their teams were penalized.

After the quiz, one of my cousins came up to me and said, “I feel sad that we wasted our lives thus far. I never knew that a quiz could be so thrilling and is also a source of knowledge”

One more cousin from the winning team proudly held his medal and said “This is the first thing I have ever won in my life. When I showed it to my mother, she couldn’t stop smiling”

I was ecstatic that everyone loved the quiz. Everyone was on their toes to know when would be the next event. I promised them that I would conduct a treasure hunt in the next couple of months.

My brother asked me with raised eyebrows “Where on earth did you find those terrific questions?”

“Thank you”,  I told Gous sitting next to him the next day

He gave a half smile.

"This calls for a celebration", I said

He didn't respond.

 “Dada(brother), have you ever drunk branded liquor?” I asked him

 “haha.. how can I? I have been drinking only the local liquor worth 50 rupees. One of my friends had been to Goa and he had whiskey once and he was boasting about how incredible it was. It’s rich people’s drink you know. I can’t afford to often drink even local liquor now”


Few months later(early this year) I got a chance to go to London for an onsite visit for 3 weeks and while returning I bought a bottle of finest scotch from the duty free store.

I took the bottle to Gous and said “The knowledge you gave me, I couldn’t have found that in any book or with any scholar. You have become my favorite Guru. I couldn’t have thought of a better gift for you than this. I bought an English bottle for you from foreign. Please accept”

He looked at it as if he saw a dinosaur. Then he took it hesitantly as if he was receiving holy water

“Wish my sons respected me like you”, he uttered with moist eyes.


 After that I didn’t get leaves for months. I visited home after 3 months. I was curious to know how Gous liked the scotch.

I met him in his usual place. And asked about it.

“I did drink that bottle”, he said.

 “I couldn’t believe that alcohol can be so smooth, relaxing and mesmerizing. It felt like heaven, as if I drank nectar. Seriously, I don’t have words to explain”, he continued.  Even though he wasn’t used to words such as ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’ before, seeing his body language I understood he was profoundly thankful to me.

“Wow, I am glad you liked it”, I said smilingly

Gous finally said, “I want to go away with its taste. I have quit drinking after I had your English bottle” 

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